For Us, Who Are Sometimes Aware Of Having Harmed Our Child – Being Parents

No one is immune from error in education . Super mom and super dad don’t exist, they’re just people who occasionally say and do what they shouldn’t. Sometimes it is because of exhaustion,  stress  or even the inexperience of the first few years.

We must not flog ourselves for this. The moment we realize that we have behaved badly towards our child, there is only one solution: ask forgiveness and make amends. To remedy the distress, to cure the crying and to put this bandage on the heart, to show the children that it can also happen to mum and dad to make mistakes.

In Being Parents, we suggest you think about it. We are sure it will help you.

Those moments when we don’t do “good enough”

It is often said that in  the education  of our children, what we seek above all is to avoid making the mistakes that our parents made with us. We deeply want everything to be perfect. May our child achieve what we have not achieved, may they have what we have not.

This is all very commendable. However, there is one thing we need to be clear with. Educating does not mean stubbornly about what we “want”, but rather the needs of the child. Every day with them is new and a challenge. They could become demanding, indiscreet, insistent and even provocative.

It is quite normal that we make mistakes with them sometimes. No one has the perfect education manual. However, it is true that there is a keystone that we cannot overlook.

What your child needs is your PATIENCE

If you don’t have the patience, ask yourself if you really want to have children. Because no one in this world will demand as much affection, consideration, empathy, love and tolerance from you as your child. Patience cannot be learned in a book, you have it or not.

• Parents who do not have a patient attitude become demanding.
• The requirement creates stress and personal insecurity in the child. We must take into account that everyone has their own pace of development, time and needs. If we demand things that they simply cannot provide, we will further frustrate their  growth.

If you do wrong, your child will show you in their eyes

You will feel it right away. The emotional impact of a child when he feels neglected, disappointed or yelled at, remains imprinted in his expression.

• Since you are a good mother, you will notice this immediately. This  intimate and solid bond  which unites you is what makes you realize that you did not do well, that you disappointed him, that at the time your nerves took over or that the applied strategy was not the one. more appropriate.

• Sometimes we do certain things thinking it is for their good. However, little by little, we realize that this is not the case. If your child is afraid of the  dark,  don’t make fun of him by telling him he’s too big for such nonsense. If he pees at night, don’t scold him.

These are small examples of the mistakes parents make almost unintentionally.

The importance of asking for forgiveness from our child

We teach our children to say hello, to thank, and to ask for forgiveness when they have to. Do you think that we adults don’t also have an obligation to apologize to them when we are wrong? Yes, we have it.

We as adults should ask for forgiveness when we do something wrong. It is a duty and a right towards our children. This will not make us more fallible in front of them, on the contrary, we will be “people”, fathers and mothers who put the  well-being  of their children at the forefront and show them their love, who wish every day to be better for them. .

Now take into account all those aspects that we fail from time to time, behaviors and mistakes that are common in raising children.

• You don’t do well when you promise something and don’t keep your word.
• You disappoint your children if you do not lead by example in what you preach.
• Shouting is a mistake.
• Never compare your child with other children.

• Never ridicule, correct or criticize your child in public.
• Don’t tell him he’s clumsy, “that he can’t”, “that he doesn’t know”. Teach him how to do it.
• Never tell him he’s bothering you. It’s best to just tell her “mum is busy right now, wait a minute and I’ll be with you”.
• Don’t leave a single question unanswered. It doesn’t matter how many, weird, or meaningless they are. For your child, your opinion is important and that is what he needs: that you be his guide, his voice for all his doubts …

Be patient and don’t discipline yourself for making mistakes every now and then. Most importantly, every day you try to do better.