Lack Of Parental Authority – Being Parents

The society we live in follows a set of rules of coexistence. From an early age, we learn the rules of conduct through different methods.  Today we see children committing transgressions. Often, this kind of behavior stems from the parents’ lack of authority.

Many common situations are considered serious misconduct on the part of children. For example, raising your voice, running in public places. Or, throwing things on the ground in a provocative way.

Culture is dynamic, just as the mechanisms of authority over the child must be.  We must not forget that it is the new generations who often lead the way for positive change.

Children’s behavior and parental lack of authority

Rules of behavior and permissions to do certain things are two pillars of filial authority. Families constantly wonder what they should and shouldn’t let children do. In addition, authority is often confused with the abuse of power. And that creates unwanted situations.

First, we need to understand what maternal and paternal authority is. Psychologists and pediatricians who focus on early childhood suggest respectful treatment of children. Authority must therefore be based on love, solidarity and respect. Thus, it turns into a gift that we give to children.

In other times, authority was considered to be the exclusive responsibility of the father. Therefore, his arrival home was synonymous with fear and lack of affection. Currently, we think less of the parents’ lack of authority than of the lack of dialogue within the family.

Positive reinforcement is always the best method. It is not a question of giving orders, but of trying to understand the feelings of the child. Each stage of growth requires precise limits. Parents must therefore respect each process.

Necessary rules and arbitrary rules

Since today’s society focuses almost exclusively on adulthood, it is difficult for a child to understand the rules. For some parents, letting a newborn baby cry all night is a way to exercise authority. This happens because of the despotic upbringing they may have received in their own childhood.

Pediatric psychologists suggest establishing coexistence agreements in each home.  That way we wouldn’t be talking so much about parental lack of authority. Rather, the absence of family contracts. Children need to know that their actions will have consequences. They also need to know that they are responsible for their actions.

In this vein, it is obsolete to speak of behavioral disorders in children.  Society as a whole should take care of the education of children with love.  The existence of cities where we respect the rules of coexistence and where the spaces include children, would be a collective way of thinking about this problem.

Rules of coexistence for families

To establish coexistence agreements between the family, the age of the children must always be taken into account.  Likewise, each adult should complete a thorough self-assessment. The latter can enable him to recognize the authoritarianism instilled in him by society from an early age.

Another idea of ​​respectful education is one in which the rules do not carry an emotional burden. It is not a personal matter. Rather, it is about making the learning process of each action understood. The expression “you behaved badly” turns an action into something subjective. In addition, it gives a negative connotation to the rule or to the authority.

The game’s rules

The lack of parental authority is questionable from an adult perspective and outdated. From a play point of view, you can think of coexistence as a game. This game has , of course,  its own rules.

When using gambling as a method, the absence of one of these rules means some unwanted event. Punishment is not necessary. But it is clear that things will not happen if we cross a limit.

These new pedagogies leave behind authoritarian and empty notions in the education of children. Fathers and mothers today do not want to repeat these painful and unfair situations from their own childhood.

The authority of fathers and mothers is today an accompaniment of the growth of children, in  love and respect . Its purpose is simply to help them build values. Also, to give them the tools to have a healthy life.