Sulking, A Form Of Emotional Blackmail Of Children – Being Parents

Sulking is one of the most common reactions of children  when they are angry. But they also do it  to get something they want. We therefore consider sulking as an emotional blackmail strategy   used by children. This is one of the stages that all children will go through. It is therefore essential to know what it is and prepare to act accordingly.

Why do children sulk?

Temper tantrums and sulking are strategies children use to get what they want. They are common in babies because they cannot express themselves. In addition, they find it difficult to recognize their feelings.

Therefore, they  employ this tactic when they are feeling angry, frustrated, and sad. Other reasons a child may sulk are as follows:

They need attention

Many children have passive temper tantrums, in the form of sulking. They do this when they don’t get their parents’ attention. And it gets worse when they don’t get it or when they see that their parents are upset with their behavior. Obviously, this can be a clear warning sign that the child needs to spend quality time with his parents.

An inability to express their feelings

There are children, and even adolescents, who cannot clearly express what they are feeling. They therefore resort to sulking. This is a common attitude among infants who have strict and authoritarian parents. Their sulking signals that they are unhappy and want to bring about a change in attitude in their parents.

Blackmail and manipulation of parents

Another – and most common – reason children sulk is to get a reaction from parents. The little ones are very intelligent. Indeed, they learn to detect the weaknesses of parents or adults.

That’s why they have tantrums and sulk to get what they want. For example, whether to buy them a toy or to avoid having to eat something they don’t like.

How to react to emotional blackmail in the form of sulking?

Child psychologists suggest learning to say “no” firmly and explain why first. In most cases, this makes the situation worse. However, the best way would be to ignore the child’s bad behavior.

Once the episode has passed, we should speak quietly with him and explain in simple terms why he is wrong. Likewise, we  need to give him the tools to learn to deal with frustration or disappointment.

Giving in to tantrums or sulking can lead to the creation of protesters and blackmailers. They will resort to manipulation to achieve whatever they want. You should also avoid resorting to beating and yelling to punish them, as this will only lead to the formation of aggressive and violent people.

Tips for not giving in to manipulations

A child is a symbol of innocence, kindness and naivety. However, over time, they can become manipulators. No one is born a blackmailer. These are attitudes that we learn through experience, to get what we want.

So that this behavior does not become a normal part of their upbringing, try the following tips:

• Avoid blackmailing your child. Many parents complain about the blackmail of their children when, in reality, it is a behavior they themselves use to elicit a reaction from the children. Remember that you are the role model for your child.
• Learn not to give in to blackmail. For this, it is important to control your emotions and not allow the child to get what he wants through these actions.
• You should avoid losing your temper and should make an effort to stay calm. Thus, the child will understand that he cannot destabilize you emotionally and will not repeat this behavior.

• The education of children requires discipline and love.  The perfect balance between these two elements will guarantee your success. For this reason, at the sulking stage, not giving in to manipulation is a sign of love.

In conclusion,  sulking can be a form of emotional blackmail by children. It is an attitude learned through past experiences, which allows you to get what you want or to express frustration or anger. Understanding the why behind this behavior can help reduce this type of attitude.