Being A Mother Of A Second Child, Why Is It So Different? – Being Parents

The same thing happens to you again after your first pregnancy, with a second child. With one big difference: you are no longer a mother for the first time. From now on, your motherhood is going to be very different, and we tell you how much.

When you are a mother for the first time, you live in a world parallel to the reality of motherhood. We idealize everything, and we put ourselves in a bubble with our child. We pretend to be a perfect mom. And fortunately, there comes a time when we put our feet back on the ground, with big doses of reality.

This is when when the second child arrives, the pursuit of perfection is simply no longer important. At that moment, you realize how different motherhood is when you have one child and when you have two.

Experience is the basis of your second maternity

Experience is like a diploma. And here, all the more so because you have already gone through the period of trial and error with your first child. You know what you want, what’s most important, and what you don’t want. Because you have learned from your mistakes. But even so, this baby is a different person. Chances are, what worked with the first one might not work with the second child. Don’t worry, you’ve come a long way.

Visiting friends, privacy and intimacy with a spouse, basic needs and the establishment of family values, are aspects that you already have more or less control over.

You become a professional mom

If you can use all of your first child’s clothes, that’s already saved. Your baby will be well protected and warm in his brother or sister’s clothes. It’s absurd to have to spend the same time buying the clothes you already have. And that money saved will be really welcome because you have two kids now, which will mean double the expenses.

On the other hand, you have become an expert in time optimization. You are able to supervise both children at the same time while you are doing something. You can also give them a bath together, or have them both eat in less time than it took you with the first one alone.

How will your child cope with the arrival of their little brother or sister?

The first child, used to being the only child and receiving all the affection and attention of his parents, may feel disturbed when a little brother or sister arrives. He’s going to have to share his whole world with him. A younger sibling causes jealousy in most children.

It is important to involve the greatest part in the tasks that the arrival of the baby implies. Start this before you even give birth, and give it the importance it deserves.

We must value our children in front of family members and other people who come to see us. Try to avoid negative comments, as well as sibling comparisons. Never compare them, let alone in front of each other.

It should be borne in mind that up to six years the child is egocentric. He feels like he is the center of the universe. It is for this reason that he constantly repeats “this is mine”. Having a brother or sister forces him to share. And most importantly, he even has to share his parents’ attention. He must be given time to adjust to this situation so new to him.

Fortunately, children’s jealousies tend to develop in a favorable way, over a longer or shorter time. It is an emotional state characteristic of childhood, and practically in all families, children go through a more or less long stage of jealousy. There is no other solution than to wait for this to pass.

Time flies much faster with the second child

It may sound silly, but it isn’t. Your second child will be more alert and learn faster because he has a teacher, who is your first child. The steps go by much faster, because you take care of both at the same time. And without you even realizing it, you’ll already see him crawling or running down the hall.

So, it’s now or never, take advantage of it, and enjoy your two children! Because your little baby will soon be your first child’s best playmate.

And don’t forget that one of the most amazing things this second motherhood brings to you is the experience. It allows you to be more relaxed, and to make the most of every moment, without focusing too much on your concerns.