Does Parental Separation Affect Children? – Being Parents

Every child experiences divorce differently. It all depends on the situation, but also on the age of your child. In this article, we will tell you how the separation of parents and children affects them depending on their age. This way you will know how to act in each specific situation.

How parental separation affects children based on their age

Without a doubt, when a couple decides to separate and have children together, what concerns adults is the emotional health of their children. The question they ask themselves is the following: how to act so that the divorce affects them as little as possible? How to get through this moment in the best way?

Divorce is not at all pleasant, regardless of the age of the child. However, the experience is different as they get older.

Of course, it all depends on whether it is a “friendly” break or one of an ongoing battle. The personality of the little ones and even the way the parents deal with the situation should be explained to the children.

Pay attention to how it affects children based on their age. You have to prepare them and know what to do if you are faced with this delicate situation:

1 . Before birth and up to the first year

Did you know that a separation affects the baby even before birth? Of course, because the mother’s state of mind influences her development.

There are many cases of children with delayed cognitive development or low weight when during pregnancy if a traumatic event has occurred for the mother.

Do not think that babies do not understand everything that is going on around them, the truth is that they are very receptive beings and almost a mirror of what their parents do… He understands how they feel!

If the mother is depressed, irritable, or tense about the situation, the baby will feel the same. Probably cry more, wanting to be hugging more than usual all the time, and not playing with a toy.

2. Between 1 and 3 years

They are not yet able to fully understand what is going on, but they do experience it as something very stressful.

At this point, many fears and anxieties may appear, as well as setbacks in their development. For example, talking childishly, wetting the bed, having nightmares or being afraid of the dark among others.

Another response to parental separation at this age is increased irritability and aggression. If they have brothers, they can choose to beat them.

The same if they attend a daycare or if they have friends or cousins ​​their age. Remember that children often express their pain aggressively.

3. Between 4 and 7 years old

If you are wondering how the separation of parents and children affects their age and the kindergarten that has just started, you know that at this point they already understand the situation. It is very important to explain to them as best as possible and with appropriate language what is going on.

Keep in mind that the thinking of children in this period is “omnipotent”. This means that they believe that everything is caused by their fault.

As a result, it is likely to focus on the cost of school activities, appearing fears of the past (a monster or a ghost) and there is a regression in terms of needs, communications or appetite.

4. Between 7 and 12 years old

It is known as the “latency stage” because children are less active than before when it comes to development. They should devote all their energies to school and homework.

As for their emotions, they tend to leave the previous self-centeredness and be more sensitive to what is happening to others.

Right now is when they have more capacity to understand what divorce is, but express no opinion about it. The child may have nightmares, feel sad or angry, and have problems with tests or school activities.

5. After 12 years

In this phase, it is difficult to agree to a divorce because they are looking for their own identity and their hormones are “hot”.

Separation from their parents can make them feel insecure, and rule violations appear quickly.

If you’re wondering how the separation of parents and children affects their age, we’ve walked you through the basics of each step. If your child has to overcome this complex situation, find out how he or she can react.