Growing Up As An Only Child: Advantages And Disadvantages – Being Parents

More and more households limit their offspring to one child. Whether for medical reasons or by personal choice, this family model is more and more widespread. In this article, we will attempt to demystify and try to shed some light on what growing up as an only child really means .

Growing up as an only child

Currently,  we are faced with a very different social landscape from before when it comes to the family. The birth rate is falling more and more and the fertility index (in other words, the average number of children per woman) stands at 1.96 in France.

This shows us the growing trend in French society towards a phenomenon that once seemed a special circumstance: families with an only child. There are many beliefs associated with children (and adults) growing up without siblings. But what about these stereotypes?

The benefits of growing up as an only child

Only children get more attention from their parents. Indeed, the latter perform their duty with exclusive dedication without having to share their time and love. As a result,  these children tend to feel supported and listened to and develop good self-esteem.

On the other hand, parents with an only child usually have more financial resources to offer. This allows for a greater variety of experiences in different areas of life.

These children grow up in a world of adults and find themselves in constant contact with them. They represent their referents and their main source of interaction.

This situation leads to a  greater development of creativity, imagination and mental flexibility. For the same reason, only children tend to have faster intellectual (linguistic and cognitive) development.

As they have no siblings, they have to spend long hours alone. Because adults remain adults and cannot spend all their time playing with them.

They therefore know how to adapt to loneliness by developing hobbies and use them as a way to get to know themselves more and to be more independent. In addition, these are calmer, introverted and mature children.

Only children have no one to “blame” or to share with. They therefore learn from an early age to accept their responsibility. This makes them more efficient in life and at work.

The disadvantages of growing up as an only child

The downside to greater parental dedication is excessive attention. If this happens, the child can become a tyrant. On the other hand, if this excessive attention leads to  overprotection, the child can also become a shy, fearful and overly cautious person.

Not having an environment in which to compete, play and share with peers hinders the development of certain skills. Indeed, only children  often have more difficulty negotiating their needs with others because they do not know how to deal with them.

In addition,  they may have problems being generous, both materially and emotionally, and tend to think that everyone should take care of themselves. Therefore, because of this individuality, can arise egocentricity.

Often, only children are treated like adults because of their greater maturity. This can therefore  limit their spontaneity and make them too rigid people.

Sometimes they can also feel lonely because they do not have the complicity of their peers at home. These children’s personalities can then become more reserved and withdrawn.

What can be done to avoid these inconveniences?

• It is essential to set loving limits,  that the child learns to respect other people’s time and to tolerate a “no” to an answer.
• Instead of overprotecting him, we need to offer the child the opportunity to learn to fend for himself in this world.
• To avoid egocentricity, we must learn to share, to respect each other’s turn, or to understand that, unlike in the home, the attention and praise of adults will not always be directed to them. It is necessary  to bring him sufficient situations of socialization with other children,  especially with the inestimable figure of the cousins.

• Although he seems mature, remember that he is still a child and  that it is very important to give space to his spontaneity.
• To overcome the subjective feeling of loneliness, it is essential to always offer the child support and understanding from those close to him.