The Turbulent Children Of The House: Curious Children – Being Parents
The answer may be simpler than we think. D ehind this active attitude hides a creature full of life that is just eager to know the world. All children are not the same. There are very quiet and thoughtful children. There are also rambunctious, curious and cheeky children.
Deepening your knowledge of the hidden psychology of unruly children will be of great benefit to you. It’s all about being able to put yourself in their shoes.
Our patience put to the test
The behavior of children changes drastically when they turn two years old. During the “terrible 2 years” children go through a phase of development during which they already clearly show a desire for independence. This goes hand in hand with great curiosity.
This stubbornness to become an explorer, a balancing act or to love risk is neither more nor less a way of facing the world. It is common that, during this stage, the sentences “I don’t want” and “I don’t want” appear.
We must set limits and prevent the rowdy children in the house from crossing the line of absolute disobedience. If we manage to redirect this innate curiosity and help them harness it so that it bears fruit, we will have succeeded in educating our children better.
Restless children and their impulse control
Have you ever told your child “don’t pull that” and when your back was turned he pulled it anyway? Faced with this type of situation, especially if your child is under 4 years old, you should always be aware that this is normal. Why ?
Because the regions of the brain involved in self-control are still immature at this stage. In fact, they do not cease to evolve until the end of adolescence.
However – and this we cannot forget – although boisterous children do not yet have absolute control over their reactions, that does not mean that we have to give in to their whims. Boundaries, emotional communication and clear rules will gradually outline the path to better behavior.
Be careful not to over-stimulate them!
Kim John Payne, author of the very famous book Crianza con simplicidad (“To educate simply” book not translated into French) explains to us that our current way of life children accumulate the same level of stress as an adult.
Often times, rowdy children are simply clamoring for our time and attention. They like, we need a “time of inactivity”, boredom, moments of calm and stillness that allow us to reflect.
Often, it is the parents themselves who stimulate them too much. They think that the more activities they do, the better their future will be. It must be understood that exhausting a child, keeping him busy will not solve his “problem” but on the contrary, will only make it worse.
What do rowdy kids need?
First and foremost, rowdy children need to be allowed to explore the world. Touch, feel, experience, check how things work. When rowdy children manage to satisfy their curiosity, they make new connections between neurons in their brains, which requires new learning. The stimuli in their surroundings are a key element in their development. This is also the case for any human being.
You have to avoid as much as possible refusing them to move and keeping them quiet by dictating things such as “stay in that chair and don’t move all afternoon”. It is something that is harmful to them as well as to us. This restricts them and it stresses us out having to impose this rigor.
What we need to do with restless children is to ensure a safe environment for them, to give them new learning opportunities and not to cut their wings, that is to say, to stifle their curiosity. If we really want them to become better people, we need to understand from now on that these kids need a balanced dose of guided activity.
That is to say that we must accompany them, guide them and orient them so that they carry out an activity – or not – and do not lose control.
Learn to be independent
It may be difficult to admit, and even painful to achieve. However, when our children are between 3 and 5 years old, they go through a stage where they don’t need us as much as when they were babies. They grew up without us realizing it!
Now they have other needs. While they still love to be held by the hand or sleeping on our lap in the afternoon, they also want to do things on their own. Is this a bad thing? No, quite the contrary. This is a beneficial attitude because it means that they learn to become independent.
As Erik Erikson explained to us, children at this age need to take initiative in many aspects of their daily lives. Allowing children to have their own space, such as having certain responsibilities – always under our supervision – will undoubtedly facilitate their psychological development and lead them on the right path.
Remember to change your outlook to avoid using negative labels. You realize that, in reality, these are tenacious, curious, full of life and wonderful children.
